


A Field Trip? How Original.

by Valkyrie98



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Embarrassment, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Irondad, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Rip Peter tbh, Tony Stark Has A Heart, as I remember what this is actually about, harmless fun really, no beta we die like men, nvm y'all we Beta now cause we ain't no fool (and have The Best Friend), spiderson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-03-20 03:39:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18984493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valkyrie98/pseuds/Valkyrie98
Summary: Waking up peacefully had never caused so much trouble.Once again, Peter Parker's Parker Luck strikes as what should have been an uneventful Saturday starts going wrong not 30 seconds after waking up.The Avengers are, somehow, all home this weekend and a class Peter isn't in is headed to the tower.What could possibly go wrong?---------Not great at summaries and I haven't actually written anything in a long time but I promise it's better than my summery seems.Just your average everyday Midtown High Tour fic, nothing is wrong, everyone is alive, Thanos whomst?





	1. Good Morning... Or is it?

Peter woke slowly, unusual for someone with his senses. Normally waking up was a sudden symphony of sounds and lights and smells before shoving his head under the pillow until the onslaught to his senses evened out again into something more manageable. He blinked slowly, relishing in the long-forgotten feeling of taking his time to get his brain back online and not getting a headache first thing after waking up. Eye’s adjusting to the soft light filtering into his room he looked towards the ceiling, clearing his throat before speaking, voice still hoarse.

“Hey FRI, what time is it?”

“It is 8:29, Peter.”

Shit

“Fuck, lights up FRI. Do you know where I left my bag?” He asked, jumping out of bed and flying towards the bathroom.

“Your bag is in the common room kitchen, you left it there after returning home from patrol last night.”

“Thanks FRI, is Happy still waiting? Tell him my alarm didn’t go off I’ll be there in a minute.” He spoke rapidly around his toothbrush as he hopped around his room trying to pull his socks on and brush his teeth simultaneously.

“Mr Happy is not downstairs Peter, he has taken Miss Potts to a business luncheon this morning. Should I inform Boss you would like a ride?”

Peter groaned, telling Mr Stark he’d overslept and was late for school was the last thing he wanted to do but considering the alternative was an hour on public transport or, god forbid, swinging over, he had no choice. Sighing in defeat he murmured an affirmative to FRIDAY before tying his shoes and tearing out of his room towards the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator to take the 2 floors down to the common area and his bag.

“Hey kid what’s the rush?”

Peter slid to a stop right before slamming right into Tony who had just exited the elevator with a mug of coffee, still wearing his pyjamas and a very soft looking robe.

“MrStarkI’msosorryIoversleptandnowI’mgonnabelateandHappyisn’thereandIwashopingyoucouldpleasetakemetoschoolplease.” He rushed out all in one breath. Tony raised a single eyebrow, looking bemused as the frazzled teenager in front of him.

“You know I’m more than happy to take you to school Pete but why do you wanna go all the way down there today?”

Peter stared at Mr Stark incredulously. Am I allowed to skip school now? What about the whole ‘school before Spider-ing” speech he’d gotten just last week?

“Uh,” He said, shifting anxiously from foot to foot, “’Cause it’s required by law? And you said I had to focus on school or you’ll make my curfew start 5 minutes after school lets out?”

Tony surveyed him calmly, taking his time drinking from his mug.

“That sounds like me.” He conceded. Then, suddenly, he grinned. “You know what Parker, it’s your lucky day. I don’t have anything to do this morning and feel like a drive, I’ll drop you. Hell, tell you what, go and grab your suit, you can even patrol right after you finish, curfew be damned.” He placed his mug down on the kitchen counter and clapped his hands together, whirling around back to the elevator, shooting Peter a look over his shoulder that clearly said, ‘follow me’.

Peter stood frozen for a moment before grinning. Getting to bring his suit to school again to patrol all afternoon and evening? This was way better than anything he had expected, especially seeing as he was bordering on being late for school. He rushed after Mr Stark, sliding into the elevator after him as Tony pushed the button to the workshop where Peters suit was kept under Tony’s lock and key after he failed that English essay last week. The elevator dinged, and Peter was out the door like a shot, flying over to the glass case his suit was in as Tony told FRIDAY to open the case for him, sounding like he was supressing laugher. Peter accounted it to what he even saw as incredibly child-like enthusiasm as he grabbed the suit and stuffed it into his bag. He ran back into the elevator Tony was holding open and grinned in triumph to which Tony just ruffled Peter’s hair with an amused huff.

They rode down to the garage where Tony beelined to the outrageously orange Audi while Peter groaned internally. He knew there must have been a catch to all of the luck he’d run into since waking up this morning.

“Is it too much to ask you to floor it, Mr Stark? If I’m late for homeroom again they’re bound to call Aunt May and let’s be honest, neither of us want to call her all the way back to the city to chew us out for me being late again.” Even Tony winced slightly at that, remembering the month before after having Peter living with him for just 2 weeks Peter had racked up 5 late appearances and the school had called May, who was still listed as Peter’s primary guardian, and she had flown all the way back from London to yell at both Tony and Peter about responsibility. After that, May decided to keep her name on as is primary guardian despite having moved to London for two years to do an extensive certification which would be a huge boost to her career and an amazing opportunity both Peter and the Starks had encouraged her to take.

“I think that’s best for both of us kid.” Tony said as he sped towards Queens, going what would definitely be classed as ‘too fast’ if he were anyone but Tony Stark.

Peter watched the clock, anxiously tapping his foot as it ticked closer and closer to 9:00am when the bell would ring and he’d officially be late.

Tony suddenly slammed the brakes, Peter’s seatbelt digging into his chest as they stopped in front of Midtown High.

8:58, he could make it.

Peter rushed out a thanks to Mr Stark and flung the door open, grabbing his bag and sprinting to the gates. They were closed but he guessed everyone was already in and there was no reason to have them open. He glanced quickly around before jumping over the tall gates. He rushed forward towards the closed doors, reaching out to push them open before-

SLAM

He ran straight into the closed, and locked, doors.

“What?” he murmured, rubbing his head and blinking at the door. He reached out and pushed again to no avail. Locked? Why were they locked? That made no sense, maybe there was a drill? Faintly he became aware of roaring laughter coming from behind him. He frowned as he turned around, looking for the source of the sound. Maybe this was Flash’s idea of a joke? But how would he have managed to lock the doors with the whole school in on it?

He followed the sounds of the laughter until his eyes landed on Mr Stark, the window rolled down showing him turning red with laughter, nearly as brightly coloured as the car he sat in.

“It’s Saturday kid!” He yelled up at Peter, gasping for breath.

Son of a-

“Hey!” Peter yelled, starting to race back to the car. Tony flashed him a grin before peeling away from the curb, tires smoking as he raced away from the school.

Oh, it’s on.

Peter grinned as he remembered the suit, realising the reason Mr Stark had let him grab it before ducking behind a school building and changing. He slung his back pack over his shoulders and jumped onto the roof, sprinting to the end of the building and launching himself into the air.

A few blocks down he spotted the Audi stuck at traffic lights and he grinned, changing trajectories and racing towards the car. The lights turned green just as Peter was catching up and Tony floored it, tearing aware from the lights and racing down Queens boulevard towards the Queensboro Bridge. Peter redoubled his efforts, swinging high before diving back down, shooting out a web at the lack second and flying forward, gaining as much speed as he could. He repeated the process every few swings and kept the Audi in sight. Just as he saw the Queensboro Bridge approaching. Approaching a lot faster than he was used to. Much, much faster than he was used to.

He looked down at the Audi, not more than 100 feet in front of him roaring onto the bridge.

“Shit!” Peter yelled, throwing webs out to the buildings next to him to slow down, dropping down low enough to web down onto the bridge without slamming straight into the support beams criss-crossing everywhere, Tony gaining another 100 feet on him.

Peter swung across the bridge and looked over to the tower. Suddenly he grinned. He didn’t have to worry about roads or traffic lights and laws. He glanced over to where he could just see a spot of orange racing straight forward from the bridge towards park avenue. He threw out a web and took a sharp left, beelining straight for the tower, he couldn’t beat Tony there following him, but he had a chance if he ran over some rooftops and could make it through some tight spots between buildings.

“Karen,” he gasped out, throwing some webs out to pull himself forward over the building cornering 1st and East 6th to throw himself towards 2nd avenue. “Track the Orange Monstrosity, where’s Mr Stark?”

“Mr Stark is currently rounding East 59th and Park Avenue, if you follow 2nd Avenue until 53rd, go straight over to Lexington and down until East 45th you may stand a chance to beat him home.”

Peter grinned, secretly thanking Mr Stark to making such an intuitive AI that knew what he was doing before he even had to explain. He followed the instructions Karen gave, throwing himself into each swing, getting as much momentum with each web as he could.

“Mr Stark is passing East 48th Peter, you might want to hurry.”

“I’m going- as fast- as I can- Karen“ He huffed, pulling himself high again for another dive. He built up more speed, throwing himself past East 46th and rounding the corner to East 45th, the tower insight. He grinned, looking down to see-

“No!” Peter yelled just as Karen spoke up;

“I’m afraid Mr Stark has entered the building”

“Cheater!”

“FRIDAY is informing me that Mr Stark is blocking your access to windows past the 1st floor. I suggest changing back into Peter Parker and entering though the public access."

Peter sighed and dropped into a nearby ally, changing back into civilian clothing, keeping the mask on as he stuffed the suit back into his bag.

“Check access to private entrance.” He told Karen, kneeling on the floor, catching his breath.

“Unavailable, as is the private elevator.”

He groaned, pulling the mask off after thanking Karen quickly. The public and employees elevator only went up to the 80th floor, the last 10 floors, above the landing pad, was all the avengers and Stark’s personal residence, including Mr Stark’s personal workshop and labs, could only be accessed by the private elevator. There weren’t even any stairs between the 80th and 81st floors he could use to get up there.

Exiting the alley, Peter started walking towards the tower, looking up at it as if it would show him how to get back up to his room and more importantly, Mr Stark. He drew his eyes back down to the entrance as he approached the public entry, passed through the sliding doors and into the lobby.

“You just made it kid, the groups just over there, you’ll need to get your badge or you’ll be left down here the whole day.” The security guard just inside the door greeted him, jerking his thumb towards a group of school kids on the other side of the lobby.

“Oh no I’m not-“ Peter started before being interrupted by a deadfully familiar voice.

“Hey Parker! What are you doing here? Late to faking your ‘internship’?”

Peter froze, turning towards the unmistakable voice of Flash Thompson, taking in the high school tour group.

 _His_ high school’s tour group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit; Y'all were really just gonna let me make that many grammatical mistakes and inconsistencies huh? You gonna play me like that??? rude.


	2. Boss Baby

Tony was still cackling as he exited the elevator on the 81st floor common area.

“FRI, please make a compilation of that, I need everything from him waking up to footage from the Baby Monitor Protocol.” He said, still grinning as he moved into the kitchen for another cup of coffee, he never really got to finish his first one this morning, sacrifices had to be made for the greater good.

“Where’s Pep and Mo?” he asked FRIDAY, frowning when he didn’t see his wife at her usual place on the kitchen bar stools on her tablet.

“Miss Pott’s is making last minute arrangements for today’s tour group from Midtown High. Baby Stark is currently attempting to wake up Harley”

Tony rolled his eyes at ‘Baby Stark’ Harley and Peter had joined forces to program in a new name for his daughter after they heard that damned song. Wait, Midtown High? Tony frowned, that sounded familiar, wasn’t that the kids’ school? He voiced this thought aloud for the AI’s confirmation.

“Peter seems to have been swept into the group after you blocked his usual window entry, the teacher has made him stay with the class that Peter is not usually in.”

A grin spread across Tony’s face, today was just getting better and better.

“Hey FRI, team meeting, call everyone who’s home today down here, wake ‘em up if you gotta, say it’s an emergency, we’ve got a field trip to plan.”

\-----

Downstairs, Peter was being pulled aside by Mr Harrington after Flash had spotted him in the Stark Tower lobby.

“Parker this isn’t the time to be keeping up this outlandish story, we haven’t authorised a badge for you let alone parental permission and I can’t very well send you home now in good conscious, stay here while I talk to the tour guide, you can tag along but first thing Monday you will come and see me and we will put an end to this delusion.”

Mr Harrington went to walk away when Peter started again. “Wait wait! I do have a badge it’s ok, I don’t need to stay I can just head up…” He trailed off at the look Mr Harrington was giving him.

“Peter,” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know how you got a badge but it doesn’t matter just stick with your friends over there and don’t draw attention to yourself, we’ll discuss this on Monday.” He started to walk away again before pausing and looking back at Peter. “And not a word about your, quote on quote, internship, to the employees or the other students.”

Peter nodded mutely, figuring it would be best to just hang around until he could slip away quietly. He headed over to where he saw Ned and MJ, giving them an eye roll behind the teachers back.

“Hey loser, what are you doing coming in the public lobby.” MJ asked, frowning at him.

“Dude you’re not supposed to be here remember, you failed the English essay to get out of it and everything.” Ned said, pulling him closer to their little group.

“I know,” Peter groaned, running his hand over his face, “I got the suit under lockdown and everything. I totally forgot the field trip was today, I woke up and thought it was a school day and long story short, Mr Stark decided today was a good day to mess with me and have a car versus web’s race from Queen’s.”

MJ was wrestling with the urge to laugh as she managed to wheeze out “Wait, did you just swing back from being dropped off at school on a Saturday?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny these allegations.” Peter stated, sticking out his tongue at her. Ned and MJ started laughing at him while Peter crossed his arms and tried his best to glare at them while fighting his own urge to laugh with them. Before he could crack and admit the hilarity of the situation, the tour guide called the class to gather up and start the field trip.

“Welcome everyone to Stark Industries, my name is Claire and I’ll be your guide today. The itinerary is fairly standard, we’ll be visiting the main floors for R&D, H&R, Law, Humanitarian efforts, science labs and interns floor-”

She was interrupted by Flash’s hand flying into the air. She blinked in surprise but nodded at him, letting him speak.

“How many High School interns does Stark Industries have?” he said, shooting Peter a nasty grin as he said it.

Claire frowned “I don’t think we actually have any High School interns right now, it’s very rare that we have any interns who aren’t senior college students.”

Flash looked triumphantly around, nudging some of his cronies around him and muttering to them, looking pointedly at Peter.

“Anyway,” Continued Claire, “We will then be having lunch in the cafeteria floor before continuing to the avengers memorial museum and finishing with a Q&A with the CEO Mrs Stark, if you’ll follow me, we’ll be going through security where the AI will be scanning your badges and start at the tour at the H&R floor. Since the group is rather large we’ll be heading up to the 12th floor in two groups. Don’t try and go anywhere else as those badges are only level 1 visitors badges and don’t have any authority to go where I’m not. Any more questions?”

Unsurprisingly, Flash raised his hand.

“What level badge would say, an intern have?”

“Interns would generally have level 2 or 3 badges depending on who they work with, general employees, including the humanitarian aid liasons, typically have level 2 badges so most interns would have those. Level 3 would be for interns who work in the labs or R&D levels. Level 3 covers those employees who work in the labs or R&D, as well as the law department and H&R. Level 4 is for higher ups in each department, the managers or oversight staff. The avengers also have level 4 access as it gives them access to most of the building and the private entrance. Then there are the level 5 badges, the highest, which only the Stark family have.”

Peter preened inside at being referred to as a part of the Stark Family.

MJ nudged him as the group moved forward toward the security check point. “You need your badge dumbass.” She muttered.

Peter nodded in thanks and slung his bag around his shoulder, opening it just enough to get his hand in considering the suspicious bright red and blue suit he had shoved on top of everything else and rooted around for the laminate badge. He felt what he figured was the lanyard attached to the badge and carefully tugged it out, grinned when he was rewarded with his level 5 clearance badge.  
“Look at that.” Came a voice behind him. Peter whirled around to be face to face with Flash. How did he manage to get behind the three of them? “You faked the wrong level clearance for an intern Penis Parker.” He sneered, shoving through them to present his level 1 badge with a level of confidence that really did not match the clearance of the badge.

Ned rolled his eyes before following flash through, the security scanner turning green and FRIDAY’s voice saying “Ned Leeds, level 1, no hazardous materials, welcome.” MJ followed, the same little procedure playing out until it was only Peter left on the other side of the scanner. He steeled himself and stepped through.

“Boss Baby, level 5, no hazardous matierals. Hi Peter, I’m under instructions not to help you get back to the common area but I would not be strictly disallowed to give hypothetical advice.”

Peter reddened as everyone looked at him. “Thanks FRI, it’s ok, I think I’ve got this.”

“Boss Baby?” Ned whispered to him as he made his way back to Ned and MJ.

“Revenge for Harley and I changing Morgan’s name to Baby Stark in the tune of the Baby Shark song, Harley is Baby Boss, Mr Stark totally plagiarised the names from the intern’s floor, it’s what some of the older interns call us when we help out down there, or up there I guess.” He explained as they headed towards the elevator, half the class filing in with Claire as Mr Harrington stood beside the elevator to go up with the rest of the class.

“Like, from the movie?” MJ asked.

Peter nodded in resignation “Exactly like the movie.” He confirmed. MJ smirked as the elevator opened again to let in the second group, all piling into the comparatively small space. Luckily it was a short trip thanks to Stark Industries top of the line elevator system and they were emerging onto the 12th floor in no time, making their way along the corridor following Claire as she explained the department, who was in charge and what they did.

Suddenly the hairs on the back of Peter’s neck stood up and he stopped, trying to figure out what his sixth sense was trying to tell him. He heard a slight shuffling above him and he glanced up only to be met with the plain cream white ceiling. He frowned and tilted his head, focusing on his hearing, trying to hear the noise again.

“Peter, hurry up!” Ned called, stopping to look back at him as the tour group continued moving forward. Peter’s eyes trailed towards Ned before snapping back to a glint in the ceiling. The glint of a vent opening.

Oh.

Shit.

They knew.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who could it possibly be? Such a toss up, who has any ideas? it's gonna be so difficult to figure out. Absolutely no common precedent here at all.


	3. Birds of a Feather

“Ok so,” Tony started, clapping his hands and glancing around at the assembled avengers. “I’ve come into some invaluable information.”

“What is it Tony? A mission?” Steve asked from his position next to the couches that Clint and Sam were sprawled on, flicking popcorn at each other.

“Yes and no.” Tony said, “Our dearest Spider-Baby seems to have managed to get out of a field trip to the internationally renowned Stark Industries. However, due to some extenuating circumstances that will be presented in movie format tonight, he’s gotten caught up in the group anyways. They’re downstairs in the lobby getting ready for an all day trip. This means we have approximately 6 hours to fit in the most embarrassing, avenger filled encounters we possibly can.”

Harley let out a low whistle, arms wrapped around a wriggling Morgan situated on his lap. “I’m guessing you have a plan then?”

Tony just grinned at him and winked. 

Clint laughed. “Kids not gonna know what hit him.”

\-----

Peter put his face in his hands. 

Of course they knew, just his luck, and knowing them there was no way he was getting out of this day unscathed. 

The rustling from above came back, moving ever so slightly towards the vent opening Peter had just spotted. 

If they were going to play this game then Peter wasn’t going without a fight. 

“Keep an eye out.” He said to Ned who immediately turned around and surveyed the class, only MJ had noticed the boys held up 10 feet away from the rest of the class. She just raised an eyebrow at them before turning back to Claire who was explaining the importance of the HR block, trying to make it interesting to a bunch of high school tech nerds who were really there for mostly any other department but this one. 

“All clear, what are you doing?” Ned reported in a low voice, turning back around in time to see Peter tapping one of the bracelets on his wrist which elongated into his web shooter which he quickly aimed at the vent and shot off a web to seal off the vent. A soft curse found it’s way to Peters ear and he grinned. 

His victory was short lived however as he heard the voice, which he recognised to definitely be Clint’s start murmuring “SOS, assist needed in 12th floor vent system, Code: Peter’s being a little bitch.”

“Really Clint?” Peter said just loud enough for the archer to hear, tapping the web shooter back into a bracelet before making his way with Ned back to the group. 

“What was all that about?” MJ asked, casting them both a sideways glance.

“Operation: Embarrass Peter is in motion, time to deploy countermeasures.” Peter said back as MJ nodded and Ned grinned. MJ pulled out her phone and began typing very quickly all while keeping her eyes trained on Claire as she started leading them away from the offices they were stopped by, heading further along the corridor. 

“…Of course the HR block deals with more than interpersonal disputes, they were also responsible for weeding out undercover HYDRA agents after the events of Black Widow, Captain American and the Falcon in 2014 which was interesting because…” Claire droned on, stopping at a bulletin board of major HR achievements and significant current projects that weren’t top secret. 

She was suddenly cut off by a loud crash behind them as Clint and Sam came crashing out from the vent. Sam was clutching a bottle of web dissolvent and Peter cursed under his breath. He never should have shown Mr Stark how to make it, it had seemed like such a good idea at the time, allowing the Avengers to pick up criminals he left lying around and a way to quickly clean up the lab after Peter had been messing around with new formulas. 

The two Avengers picked themselves up off the floor and found 25 odd high school student gawking at them. Clint grinned and stepped forward throwing his arms out while Sam surreptitiously placed the small bottle in his pocket, winking at Peter. 

“Ah! Children! Welcome!” Clint proclaimed, “I just dropped in to see Peter, there you are!” he continued, stepping forward to grab Peter into a hug and press a sloppy kiss on his head. “They grow up so quickly don’t they Sam?” He asked, turned with Peter still in his arms to look at his fellow Avenger. 

Sam grinned and wiped a fake tear from his eyes “I swear it was just yesterday we were teaching him how to play Mario kart.”

“Uh? I taught you guys how to play?” Peter said, momentarily forgetting that his whole class was watching the exchange. 

“Shut it, Shortstack.” Sam said, no real malice in his voice. “Anyways, we’re actually here to see the tour group, answer some questions, sign some autographs and all that. If that’s ok with…?” he stopped, glancing at Claire and raising an eyebrow.

“It’s Claire.” She said, a little breathlessly. “And that’s fine, more than fine, so so fine, uhm, go for it.” 

Clint and Sam grinned at each other before coming in to flank Peter as the crowd of student pressed forwards.

“Well we just love helping out high schoolers don’t we Clint?”

“Oh yeah, just like our little Petey-wetey here, makes us so proud the way he can tie his own shoes.”

“Well, almost, Steve had to do it for him yesterday, but he had just managed to trip over his own feet down the stairs and right into Tony.” Sam laughed as Peter winced at the tragically true story from a week ago when he had been so tired from patrol the night before he forgot the stairs were there and fell all the way down them and slammed into Tony, sending his coffee mug flying and both of them to the floor. 

“Or that time when-“ 

“Ok!” Peter said, cutting Clint off and clapping his hands loudly. “We don’t want to keep you guys held up I’m sure you’ve got a lot to be doing good-bye now.” He gave the men a light shove back towards their vent grate.

“Nonsense Peter!” Clint said, clapping his shoulder a bit too hard. “We’d love to stick around for the rest of Claire’s wonderful tour of the, uh…?” he gestured to Claire who still looked shell-shocked but the events. 

“T-the HR department.” She stuttered. 

Clints eyed widened ever so slightly. “On second thought,” he said, glancing around rather nervously, “We’d better get going right Sam?”

“Wha- Oh yeah, so busy, stuff to do, people to see blah blah blah, you know how it is, bye kids!” 

The started backing away from the group and Clint stopped long enough to mutter “you’re so lucky Bucky made that HR claim against us that we have been ignoring after we put dye in his shampoo, good luck kid, see you soon.”

The class stared star struck after the two avengers who, despite not needing the cover anymore, hopped back up into the vent and disappeared. Honestly Peter was pretty sure there was a clubhouse in the ventilation system somewhere but in all his exploring he’d never found any trace of any of them aside from the candy stash hidden above Peppers office that he’d wisely decided to steer clear of. 

Once the birds had disappeared the classes gawking turned to Peter who was beet red and shrugged at them. “I told you I worked here.” Was all he said before Claire commandeered them, finishing her HR spiel rather quickly before turning them around and headed back towards the elevator. 

“We’ll be going to the law firm department next.” She explained as they separated into two groups again. “Up to their main common area on the 17th floor so if we could just split up once again and I’ll see the rest of you there.”

As soon as the doors close Flash rounded on him.

“What the fuck Penis?” He hissed, low enough so that Mr Harrington, who was currently engaged in a conversation with Abe, wouldn’t hear him. “How the fuck did you convince actual Avengers to back up your story? Is this some sort of make-a-wish situation? Pity? Bribery?” he listed off, seemingly stunted for other possible reasons that Hawkeye and the Falcon could possibly be associating with lowly little Peter Parker.

“Stuff off Flash, just ‘cause you’ve been rejected for the internship 5 times now.” Ned said, shooting a glare at the boy while MJ surveyed him with her signature unsettling stare before returning to her rapid typing on her phone. 

Peter sighed. He knew Flash didn’t believe him, he didn’t blame him either, it was a bit of a tall tale but it wasn’t like Flash wasn’t cruel before the internship and his cruel words trying to find reason for Clint and Sam reminded him of those times when the cutting comments were just that, cutting. 

He looked to the ceiling in a silent plea before following Ned and MJ into the newly returned elevator, praying that Clint and Sam were operating on their own, or that at least Pepper might reign them in a bit. 

Yeah, Pepper, she’ll keep them in check. 

With his renewed hope for the day calming down somewhat, he stepped into the elevator, not noticing the flash of red hair rounding the stairs at breakneck speeds and continuing up the next flight. He only thought of Pepper and her reputation for taming Tony’s idea. 

Yeah, it’d all be alright now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes,,,,,,, no more trouble here,,,,, none at all,,,,,


	4. Let's Do It Baby, I Know The Law

“Oh good, everyone’s here I need to discuss something with you all.” Pepper announced, striding into the common area where everyone was gathered around a whiteboard Tony was writing on. 

They all jumped as she walked in, heels clicking on the hard wood, and stumbled to all stand in front of the white board, blocking it from view. Natasha remained undeterred, sitting next to Harley deep in conversation. Morgan lept out of Harley’s lap upon seeing her mother and raced over to her, grabbing the bottom of her suit jacket impatiently. 

“What’s going on Sweetie?” She asked as she placed Morgan on her hip. 

“Peter’s school is here!” She said excitedly and there was a symphony of groans around the room. 

“I know, that’s why I’m here actually.” Pepper looked around the room, taking note of the half assembled Avengers, crowded awkwardly around what Pepper assumed was some sort of plan related to the field trip. 

Tony spoke up first. “Field trip? What field trip? Peter school? Good for them. We’re just doing some mission debriefs, catching up on all the reports we’re blown off, taking advantage of some down time you know?” 

Pepper raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Steve interjected. “You know, S.H.I.E.L.D stuff, just boring mission things, nothing you’d be interested in.”

“Well that’s a shame,” Pepper said, walking closer to the huddled mass of heroes. “Because I was hoping you could help me embarrass Peter seeing as he got caught up in the field trip despite trying to get out of it by failing his essay.”

“He wha- you know what, later problem. You’re serious? You’ll let us mess with him?” Tony exclaimed.

“Let you? Dear husband I’m going plan and participate, lord knows you could use my help given you first plan is send Clint into the vents.”

“Hey!” Clint said, frowning.

“Shush,” Tony said. “What’s the plan, Light of my Life?”

Pepper adjusted Morgan on her hip and took the whiteboard marker Tony have offered up. “Well…”

\-----

 

“This way everyone, we can’t linger here too long, too many NDA’s and not enough signatures.” Claire called out, herding the students past the reception area and into an empty conference room. “Stark legal is a lot more interesting than just NDA’s though, they’re the personal lawyers of the Stark family, the company and even the avengers themselves. If any of them are ever in any legal trouble, or even back in 2016 with the retracted Accords they come here. One of our senior partners was actually the one to get the Accords fully annulled and allowed Captain America and his team to return to the United States. She said if she had some time she’ll drop by and answer any questions about the Accords or the Avenger’s cases, anything not covered by an NDA of course. Ah, here she comes.”

A professional looking woman with brightly dyed red hair poked her head around the door. “Hi Claire, I know I promised to talk about the Accords but I’ve got Nat her asking for some legal advice an-“

She was cut off as the Black Widow sauntered into the room, making direct eye contact with Peter before dropping into a chair. 

“Nonsense Cassidy, I’ll take my advice in here, it’ll be good for some people to find out what happens if you cross me, I mean, the law.” Natasha urged the lawyer, Cassidy, inside and making unsettling eye contact with Flash as she said ‘if you cross me.’

Peter sagged in defeat, there was no way of getting out of this one, they were in a closed room, door on the other side so he couldn’t sneak out, his classed mates pressed either side of him and Natasha staring at him, smirking slightly. 

This can’t be good. 

Cassidy got out a notebook and sat down opposite Natasha, looking vaguely uncomfortable with the situation. “Ok but I retain the right to take this conversation elsewhere and you all may be required to sign NDA’s if undesirable information comes to light.”

Natasha nodded, glancing around to make sure everyone understood the terms of her staying to which the teenagers nodded eagerly, Flash looking particularly star struck. 

Cassidy opened a fresh page and poised her pen, looking at Natasha expectedly. 

“It’s simple really, I don’t know why anyone pressed charged for my entirely justified actions,” Natasha began, reclining in her seat. “I heard someone was messing with one of my own so I put an end to it, or rather, them.”

Cassidy sighed. “Natasha you know full well by now I need more information than that.”

“I’ll give you an example, say someone was messing with someone I care about, like Peter here,” she gestured for Peter to come closer, placing a hand on his arm. “If someone were to mess with Peter here say, oh, I don’t know, you,” she looked lethally at Flash. “I’d, hypothetically, ruin all your prospects, university applications, jobs, the usual, before breaking into your house, and slowly but effectively, break every single bone in your body, leave you on the doorstep of an emergency room, return to your home and, just for fun, break every single high score in every form of game in your possession.”

“Natasha did you break someone’s entire body again we’ve spoken about this. I’ll draft up the paperwork, financial compensation worked last time but they still came out in worse shape, we’ll discuss this more after I’ve spoken to his-I mean, the unknown persons, family.” With that, Cassidy strode out of the room, putting her phone to her ear, letting the class hear the start of the conversation before closing the door behind her. “Hey Maria, yeah the last name is Thompson co-”

“Um, Miss Romanoff?” Claire asked, finally drawing Natasha’s attention away from Flash’s, slightly trembling, form and raising a brow in question. “Would you have time for some questions from our high school tour group?”

“Sure, shoot.”

Several hands shot into the air at once including, surprisingly, MJ’s who Natasha called on first.

“Would you be able to let me interview you for my powerful woman article?”

“Of course, you’re Peter’s friend, right? I’ll have him set something up.”

That seemed to bring Flash out of his stupor and his hand shot up to join everyone else’s. Natasha looked at him, gaze turning cold even as she nodded her head at him. 

“Do you actually know Parker?” He said, looking a bit more like himself, sure that he’d caught Peter in a lie.

“Peter Parker is one of my very close friends, I consider him my family and no one,” her voice turned deadly quiet. “Messes with my family.” She suddenly stood up, looking around at the class. “Unfortunately, that’s all the time I have, nice to meet you all and Peter,” She turned, forcing him to look at her and putting on a sickly-sweet voice as she licked her thumb to wipe some invisible schmutz off of his cheek. “You forgot your lunch Honey, I’ll have someone bring it down to you soon.” And with that, she turned and strode out of the room.

For the second time today Peter was left mortified, bright red and avoiding eye contact with the rest of the class. He mumbled something about the internship before looking down to study his nail rather intently. 

“Ok, well, this is shaping up to be a very eventful tour, 3 more Avenger’s than any other tour I’ve taken get, aren’t you guys lucky. I guess Cassidy doesn’t have time to talk to us about the Accords and I don’t think there much more I’m allowed to discuss or really much more I actually know about the legal team so let’s keep moving huh? We’re going to R&D next! The usual two group split and we’ll all reconvene on floor 28 ok?” She ushered them out of the room and back towards the elevator as Peter tried desperately to ignore the looks and whispering from the rest of his class. 

“I don’t know how you’re doing this Parker but I will find out and expose you for the parentless pitiful looser you really are.” Flash hissed, forcefully shoving his way past Peter, Ned and MJ, the latter of which reached out and caught Flash’s arm in a vice grip. 

“I think it’s in your best interests to drop it and move on with your sore excuse for a life Thompson.” She said lowly, letting go of his arm with a shove, pushing him towards the first group to get on the elevator. 

“Thanks.” Peter murmured to her, still looking down. MJ shrugged and went back to her phone as Ned pressed himself against Peter’s shoulder in a show of silent support. 

As far as his family went, he was at least 3 Avengers down, surely not that many of the others were home, he might be in the home stretch for all he knows. At least Mr Stark hasn’t shown up yet, maybe he didn’t even know what was going on. No, even Peter’s unbelievable ability to convince himself of the impossible couldn’t get past that one. It was only a matter of time. Maybe he’d show up after Peter had already managed to slip away, his name wasn’t on a registry or anything so he doesn’t really need to hang around for longer than it takes to get high enough in the tower to have a chance to escape up to his room for the rest of the day. Yeah, he could outrun these guys, they had no chance. 

For the second time he steeled himself in his renewed spirits. There surely couldn’t be anything much worse than the Black Widow wiping dirt off his face and saying he forgot lunch, everything else would surely be amateur hour. 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rIgHT?


	5. R&Danger

“Alright.” Pepper said, stepping away from the board. Morgan had long since abandoned her position on her mother’s hip and gone to show her Uncle Rhodey her latest piece of fridge worthy art. “Everyone understand?”

There were a series of nods and affirmative hums around the room as Pepper surveyed them coolly. 

“Clint, go, we’re already behind, take the elevator to the 13th floor and use the vents from there, predictable enough to lull him into a false sense of security. Sam, grab a bottle of the web dissolvent and follow Clint to the 13th floor and wait for the signal.”

The men nodded and raced off to the elevator, Sam diverting course at the last minute to run up the stairs to the labs, Clint barrelling straight into the elevator, grinning at the rest of them as the doors slid closed. 

“Ok, phase 2: Spider’s web, Nat, go down to the 17th floor and wait in Cassidy’s office for the group. If we send in the big guns second, he’ll think there’s not many of us left.” 

Natasha nodded and walked over to meet Sam who was waiting for the elevator to get back from dropping Clint off.

“Alright, that should catch us up, FRIDAY, you know what to do.”

“Certainly Miss Potts.” A projection of security camera feed popped up on the screen, split into 4 frame, 2 following Peter and the field trip, the other 2 keeping tabs on Clint, Sam and Natasha as they made their way to their positions.

“Alright Clint.” Tony said, watching the screens with rapt anticipation. “Go.”

\-----

“Here’s one of the floors I think you guys might be doing a bit more direction than I will.” Claire said, laughing slightly as they all gathered around her, practically vibrating with excitement as they looked around into some of the glass walled rooms. Wide eyes and open mouths seemed to have become part of the Midtown High uniform as they took in the equipment littered around, the sounds of hammering and power tools muted by the glass screaming like a orchestra symphony to the group of teen tech nerds. Even Peter was a little bit star struck, not usually coming down to these R&D labs, hanging out in Mr Stark’s personal workshop with the Armour and the rest of the Avengers tech. 

The only person who seemed unperturbed by their situation was, predictably, MJ, who was still typing rapidly on her phone. Peter looked over at her, frowning at her in question when she looked up. She just levelled her gaze at him, as if daring him to call her out for not paying attention, or even actually see what she’s doing. Peter rolled his eyes at her, smiling before returning his attention to Claire. 

“...So we’ll be given a tour of our head of department’s workshop, hopefully they’ll have tidied up enough, last time I was here he’d left some, ahem, dangerous materials lying around. Anyway, remember there is to be no touching anything without express permission or the field trip will end immediately, understand?” A round of nods and serious faces met her and she smiled. “Excellent, and her comes our guide, everyone, this is the head engineer of the Stark Industries R&D department, Alex Rainer.”

A tall, lanky man was walking up to them, curled hair a mess as he ran his hands through it and hurried towards them. “Hi everyone! Please, call me Alex. Sorry I’m late Claire, got caught up with some, uh, guests.” He glanced behind him nervously, as if these ‘guests’ were after him. “So, I was thinking of bringing you guys into Riri’s lab today mine is, uh, preoccupied.”

“Uh, Alex, they don’t have the permissions to be taken anywhere but your lab, we could come back?” Claire hedged, looking concerned at yet another unexpected turn for the tour.

“Oh uhm, ok no worries let’s just ah, go to mine then.” He spun on his heel and hurried away, trying to get to his lab first to deal with his guests but the eager teenagers were right on his heels as they approached a door at the end of the hall, no windows for this room, it was all blocked from sight. Alex opened the door and peaked inside, sagging in what looked like defeat. “Come in come in, I’m really sorry about this…” he trailed off. 

At first they weren’t sure what Alex was talking about but then someone gasped, hand flashing out to point to the other end of the room. 

Peter’s eyes widened and he stopped dead in his tracks, turning to walk straight back out of the room but just before he’d gotten away a voice stopped him cold. 

“Peter!” Thor boomed, stopping his investigation of what must be Alex’s current invention and striding over to the class. “Look Captain! I found our ward!”

Peter groaned as he slowly turned back to face the class and his next two Avengers. 

Thor and Steve Rogers stood there, a slight smirk on Steve’s face, winking as he caught Peter’s eye before turning and facing the rest of the class. 

“So, you’ve got a tour here today?” He said in his best PSA voice. A couple of students wince, obviously having vivid flashbacks to their Captain America lead pacer test the week before. “Ah! Peter! We were looking for you, I know you had some questions about one of my PSA’s you were shown in your health class. I was speaking to Thor and he’s offered to help. Actually, this would probably be a good time, that way we can answer your questions and anyone else’s.”

“A mighty fine idea Captain.” Thor said, putting on his grandest most Asgardian timber. 

“So,” Steve began, grabbing a chair, flipping it around and sitting down, motioning for everyone to sit and watching as the group of teens dropped to the floor like they’ve been shot. “Your body’s changing-“

“’Tis a perfectly normal experience, why, we even had it on Asgard, granted it was usually around 400-500 years old but still, your early growing is still adequate.”

Peter didn’t think he could be more embarrassed, he knew teasing Steve about those PSA’s would come back to haunt him. He sank down behind his classmates, trying to hide behind Ned and MJ. If only he could be so lucky. 

“Peter, come up here, we’re doing this because of you, you know, we need you up here with us!” Steve said, grinning broadly at him. Peter stared imploringly at the Captain, silently begging for his sanity but the twinkle in Steve’s eye and Thor’s mischievous glint told him he had no chance. 

“Come Peter! Sit!” Thor said, tapping his lap of all places.

“I-It’s ok, there’s a chair just here I’l-“

“Nonsense!” Thor grabbed Peter’s arm as he passed and pulled him to sit on his lap, sending a little zap through his hands causing Peter to jolt as he tried to get away from Thor’s iron grip. 

“Now, what was it you were saying the other day Peter? Something about body hair growth right?” Steve said, ignoring the sniggers of the class as he launched into the spiel from the PSA. Every now and then Thor would interject with some Asgardian tale of their equivalents, stories of how he or his friends would go on grand battles and equating these bloody and vicious battles to something about puberty, Peter’s puberty specifically. 

Subtlety, Peter brought the hand that was tucked between his and Thor’s bodies, hidden from the prying eyes of his class and flicked his wrist back, bringing out his web shooter. He tapped his pinkie to his palm twice, praying the sensor would register this command in the cramped space before shoot a web into Thor’s side. Suddenly, a web shoot out from Thor and attached to the wall, yanking him violently over towards the wall, knocking Steve over midsentence and barrelling into a table of meticulously organised tools. Peter picked himself up off of the floor and sidled over to Claire’s side. 

“So, uh, Alex, what’s your presentation about?”

The two tour guides looked shocked, Alex in particular looking mildly horrified as the cackling from the teenagers on the floor brought their attention back to him. 

“Uh, yeah, right I’m, uh, I’m working on a new form of Kevlar for the Avengers uniform, focusing more on being puncture proof than bullet proof. We’ve got a lot of people concentrating on bullets but I was speaking with Mrs Stark who mentioned that more Avengers came back with stab wounds or cuts from flying shrapnel than they did gunshot wounds. I’ve taken thi…”

Peter zoned out, walking around his class to where Thor and Steve were struggling with his webs. He squatted down next to them, speaking in a low voice. 

“You know, there’s a lot more PSA’s out there that Mr Sam and Mr Bucky haven’t seen Rogers.” He murmured, fixing Steve with a glare. “This is just the beginning of the war. And you,” He turned to Thor. “I have your brother’s number, don’t tempt me.”

He stood up and returned to the class who had become enamoured with some of the early tests of Alex’s work and muttered to FRIDAY to send Sam down with his bottle of dissolvent after the class had cleared out. 

Alex wrapped up his speech and Claire herded the students out of the workshop and back towards the elevators, shooting a sidelong glance to the cackling Avengers still tangled up in mysterious webbing. 

“Ok well, once again we seem to be the centre of some, interesting events.” She said as they approached the elevator. “We’ll split into the usual two groups and go up to floor 39 to check out some of our humanitarian aid efforts and projects, with any luck we might actually get through a floor exactly as planned.” 

Peter slumped. Luck. Yeah right. The only luck he had going for him was Parker luck which was really just another was or saying he had no luck whatsoever. 

But that was pretty much all of the big guns below him, and the closer they got to the top the closer he was to escaping. 

Hopefully he could get out of here without much more drama. 

Surely there’s a light at the end of this very, very long tunnel. 

He sighed, almost there, he thought, almost there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Peter, if only u hadn't shown sam and Bucky that PSA, if only
> 
> thank you guys so much for your comments!!!! I wasn't gonna put another chapter out today but the feedback really inspired me to get something done!!!


	6. Hone, You Got A Big Storm Coming

“Ok Natasha, do you copy?” Pepper said, practically vibrating with anger. One of the side effects of following the action play out is everyone saw that Flash kid making fun of their Peter. Avenger’s were crowded around the display all in different stages of anger, the air around Thor was crackling slightly. Harley was sitting ramrod straight, fists clenched at his sides, glaring at the screens, kept in his seat only by Tony’s hand on his shoulder but given how white Tony’s knuckles were on his other, clenched, hand he wasn’t fairing that much better than Harley, kept in check by the sudden change of plans Pepper was rattling off to Natasha. 

“You first and foremost duty is to scare the shit out of that Thompson kid. Embarrassing Peter is on the backburner. Besides, Steve and Thor have come up with something spectacular to cover your slot. We’ll explain later but for now, you make that kid regret stepping out of his house this morning, understand?”

“Affirmative, ruin the kid.” Natasha’s voice came deadly quietly through the speakers, sending a shiver down spines, knowing all to well what that voice meant. 

“Ok, standby, the kid’s are making their way into the conference room. Send in Cassidy.”

Suddenly, Tony’s phone started ringing. He fished it out of his pocket, stepping away from Harley and frowning at the blocked number. 

“Hello?” 

“Stark! Would you clear the landing pad I’ve got nowhere to land.” Shuri’s voice came blaring out of his phone, making Tony flinch back. 

“Ok several things, he said, putting the phone on speaker as a couple of the gathered group came closer to see what was going on. “What are you doing here? What’s on the landing pad if not you and, what are you doing here?”

“MJ said it was an emergency, so I called in some reinforcements, that’s them coming in just now, I got them to move over so I can park, see you soon!” 

They group suddenly looked up as they heard the sounds of laughter echoing down the stairwell, on guard as the unknown intruders made their way towards the common area. They came into view and Thor started laughing. 

“Morons!” 

\-----

Peter fidgeted the whole ride up to the Humanitarian Aid floors, praying to whoever or whatever may be listening and merciful enough to call off the siege. 

“Alright, there’s a bit more wriggle room here in terms of rules, less to break or overhear so we’ll make our way through a couple different offices and chat with some of our aid pioneers!” Claire called cheerfully after looking around suspiciously for more unexpected guests. The teenagers trailed along behind her, obviously disappointed at having to leave the R&D floor so soon for something as mundane as the offices surrounding them. 

Peter was twitching at every small sound, thinking any of them could be another Avenger waiting to pop out from behind a wall. His spider sense hasn’t stopped going off since he heard Clint shuffling around in the ceiling and this floor didn’t seem to be any different. He ran through a mental list of Avenger in his head; he’d seen Sam and Clint first, then Natasha, and Steve and Thor just now, if he was right, there would only be Rhodey and Tony left right? Everyone else was off earth or out of town. He knew for a fact Scott and Hope were back in San Francisco with Cassie and they were above recycling Avenger’s, surely they’d gone too big too soon and were realising their mistake, saving some people for after lunch. 

He looked over to MJ as he came to this conclusion, opening his mouth to voice this opinion to her and Ned when he noticed he was staring at him, a scary glint in her eyes. 

Never mind, he was so fucked. 

He followed behind Ned and MJ in resigned silence, still tense, looking around wildly at any given moment, unable to shake the feeling that he was being watched. 

God what he wouldn’t give for Pepper to show up right now, he could tell her everything they were doing, dob in Tony and get to go back to his room and away from Flash and his clique. 

“Everyone this way, we’re going to see the head of department to-” she stopped suddenly as she turned around, eye’s widening at something behind Peter. Glancing up to see why Claire stopped talking, before he could even register what Claire was doing, something slammed into the back of his knees, sending him stumbling into Ned who looked as dumbstruck as Claire even as he steadied Peter again. 

“Wha-” Peter opened his mouth but the unfinished question was answered before he’d even looked down to see what was attached to his legs.

“PETER!” Morgan screamed, clinging to his legs with all the strength her small arms afforded her, which was a lot more than Peter had thought she had. 

“Uh, hey Morgan, what are you doing here?” He reached down, untangling the 5 year old from his legs and hoisting her into his arms. 

“We came to bring you lunch!” She beamed at him, reaching up to play with his hair, suddenly distracted in her new mission to bring as much volume to Peters curls as she could manage. 

Peters eye widened. “Uh, Mo, who exactly is we?”

Before Morgan could draw her attention away from Peter’s hair long enough to answer, the answer came to him in the form of the hurried clicking of heels. He let out a breath of relief as he turned to face Pepper.

“Oh thank god, Mrs Stark you gotta hel-”

“Peter,” She interrupted him, ruffling the parts of Peter’s hair that Morgan hadn’t gotten to yet. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, you forgot lunch and you know what the doctor said, nothing processed until that rash clears up.”

The blood drained from Peter’s face. 

No. Pepper no. 

His only salvation, the light at the end of his tunnel, the only one who could have corralled the Avengers and let him back upstairs. 

They’d turned her.

No, Pepper couldn’t be turned, she had never given in to something she didn’t want to do. 

That meant…

Oh fuck. 

She was in charge. He knew that organising that many Avengers with such a narrow goal and keeping them all out of each others way was a feat beyond even Steve Rogers and Tony Stark combined. Peter mentally hit himself for not realising earlier. There was only one person who could have done all this and she was standing in front of him, holding a brown paper bag covered in love hearts and tagged with several signatures and notes. He looked closer at the bag, recognising the signatures that adorned it. There was the expected sickly sweet note from Pepper, elaborating about his ‘rash’, a sprawl about responsibility from Tony, something unintelligible that was probably Morgan’s doing and Harley’s name written under a hand drawn smirking emoji. But beyond these notes from his family there was signatures of Avengers. Lots of Avengers. Way more than were supposed to be in the tower right now. 

Pepper just grinned at him, handing over the bag in exchange for Morgan, speaking over his head to the class, apologising for the interruption and elaborating on the necessity for Peter to have his own lunch and describing in painstaking detail a rash supposedly littering Peter ribs and stomach. The words didn’t even process to Peter, too busy processing the fact that his one hope was the mastermind of his demised coupled with the knowledge that what he thought was poor planning sending in as many Avengers as they had was really just to lull him into a false sense of security. 

This was just the beginning and everything so far was probably a cake walk compared to what’s coming. 

Peter was suddenly hit with a sense of regret as he remembered his team up with Loki. He’s personal handed everyone who’s signed this bag a reason to be contributing. When they’d said ‘you’ll regret this’ when they finally put a stop to the mischievous duo, he really should have taken them more seriously. 

Faintly he was aware of Morgan yelling goodbye as Pepper made her retreat. 

He didn’t think anyone had regretted scheming with Loki as much as Peter did at that moment. 

Not Thor. 

Not the chitari.

Not even Thanos. 

No, he, Peter Parker, was well and truly Fucked with a capital F. 

He groaned, looking down at the bag and seeing a name that made him freeze up all over again. 

If he survived this, he was going to kill MJ. 

He looked again, as if the name might disappear if he looked at it long enough. To his dismay it only seemed to become clearer. He sent a glare to MJ before presenting to name to her in accusation. 

She glanced at the bag and the signature Peter thrust in front of her and grinned. 

“I had to call in the cavalry.” She said, shrugging. 

Peter continued glaring at her as Ned grabbed his arm to move the bag so he could see the name emblazoned on the innocent bag and gasped. 

“Shuri?! Oh dude you are Fu-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey demons, its me, ya boi, Peter
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ this is on him, you shouldn't help Loki fuck with everyone in the tower sweaty.


	7. Veritaserum

“Guy’s, pass the lunch, time for Petey-Pie to find out what he’s dealing with.” Tony called, waving a brown paper bag and a sharpie, attracting the crowd of newcomers. The Gaurdians of the Galaxy came rushing forward, all scrambling for the pen first. Pepper, advantaged by her proximity to Tony and her height advantage (seriously, Tony definitely put 6-inch platforms in the suit, for the express purpose of being taller than Pepper in it. He called her in to take measurements and all, she wore short heels that day, she’s still taller in her usual ones). Shuri was chatting with Groot, the bead around her wrist projecting translations for her.

 

“Does anyone know if Carol’s in the galaxy this week?” She asked as she scribbled down a short message and her name before passing the bag and pen to Harley who got Morgan to scribble something unintelligible before he took over.

 

“We saw her last week over by the Nova corps clean-up in the Andromeda, if she’s still helping out she’s not that far out.” Gamora said, coming in behind Harley to nab the pen from him, scribbling her name and passing it to the rest of the Guardians.

 

“I can ask Valkyrie if she’s back home yet?” Thor offered, pulling out his phone.

 

“Good call Point Break, give the old ball and chain a cal- ow!” Pepper reached out and smacked Tony upside the head. “Light of my life, my truest love, my sun and stars, what the hell?”

 

“What did I tell you about ball and chain comments?”

 

“That I had my last one at my bachelors party.” Tony mumbled, looking down.

 

“She’s in Norway!” Thor called triumphantly, holding his hand over the phone speaker. “They can come in by 1.”

 

Attention successfully diverted, Tony looked back at the Baby Monitor screens. “Uh, guys? We gotta send in the next party ASAP.”

 

“Who did we have down for science?” Pepper asked, looking at the whiteboard. Bruce raised his hand timidly, looking like he wasn’t entirely convinced of his involvement. “Take Rocket and Groot with you, I feel like they’d appreciate some science mishaps.”

 

“Now you’re talking, come on Groot, let’s go blow some shit up.”

 

\-----

 

The rest of the Humanitarian floor went by in a blur, Peter was still reeling from Peppers betrayal. His thoughts were a whirlwind of avengers names and possible plans. He barely knew what was going on around him, Ned had a hand on his elbow, guiding him through their tour and talking in low voices with MJ.

 

“Do you have a pen?” Peter asked, eyes slightly less glazed over as he looked at his friends. MJ offered him the pen she kept behind her ear for such instances of note taking.

 

He turned away from the group, spotting an empty desk nearby, clearly belonging to no one by the lack of papers or personal affects. He sat down and pulled out the lunch bag. He emptied it of the apple sauce snack pack, complete with one of Morgan’s old baby spoons, a tube that loudly proclaimed itself to be emergency rash cream for baby’s and a number of other foodstuff’s that were clearly from Morgan’s food piles. He was honestly surprised he didn’t pull out a diaper from the bag by the time he’d upended it contents. He set about finding the names of the Avengers he’s run into so far, striking a line through their names as he came across them. He crossed off a total of 7 names which didn’t look like as many crosses as it did in his head.  

 

Ned hissed at him to hurry up, looking at the group who we’re turning back towards them to get back to the elevators. Peter’s head jerked up and he hurried back to Ned and joined his class, not paying any attention to Claire as she explained where they were headed next. Surely nothing could get worse? He sighed, he couldn’t even believe his brain telling him it was a school day, let alone the fact that the fully assembled avengers couldn’t wreck more havoc than they had managed so far.

 

“You alright?” Ned asked, clearly trying to mask his own amusement at the situation. If not for his unwavering loyalty Peter was sure he’d be huddled around MJ’s phone rattling off idea’s to Shuri and Harley.

 

“Let’s just get this over with.” He grumbled, stepping into the elevator.

 

Emerging several floors up Peter’s ears were assaulted with loud bands and maniacal cackling.

 

The doors opened and the second half of the group was met with a mixture of curious or horrified eyes from the rest of their group. Claire looked uncertainly around, watching white lab coats flying behind scientists as they rushed down the hall towards the sounds.

 

“Maybe we shoul-“ Claire’s suggestion was cut off as a voice called the attention of the teenagers.

 

“Hey! Kids! C’mere!”

 

Rocket Raccoon was poking his head around the door at the end of the hall, waving an arm and beckoning the group over. Before Claire or Mr. Harrington could corral the group away, they were running over to see one of the Guardian’s of the Galaxy doing science experiments in Stark Tower.

 

Peter followed along reluctantly. If Rocket was here then so was Groot. And if Groot was here Shuri couldn’t be far behind.

 

Sure enough, as he stepped into the labs he found Shuri cackling over a small fire she had created as Groot stood a couple paces back, warily keeping his distance from the flames. Rocket was making his way back to the end of the room where Dr Bruce Banner was carefully mixing chemicals over a Bunsen burner. Or at least he was doing it carefully until Rocket leapt up onto the table and dumped an entire vial of something violently yellow into the beaker which bubbled more intensely before turning a deep purple. Bruce frowned slightly at it before shrugging and reaching for another yellow vial.

 

“Americans!” Shuri called, extinguishing the flames at her worktable and mixing up a new concoction which really looked more like some sort of witch’s brew with the amount of seemingly random mixtures Groot and Shuri were pouring into a large beaker.  

 

The high schoolers gathered cautiously around the workbench Shuri called them over to, grinning when she spotted Peter near the back of the crowd.

 

“I need a volunteer.” She announced, turning on the Bunsen burner below he own beaker and handing over the stirring stick to Groot who took over watching the mix. Shuri stepped out from behind the bench and looked past several tentatively raised hands and straight to Peter. “Parker!”

 

Peter hung his head. Maybe if he concentrated hard enough he could just turn invisible. He glanced at his hand. Nope, still there. Shuri made her way through the crowd and grabbed Peter’s wrist, dragging him over to where Groot had switched off the burner.

 

“Ok, me and my friend tree here have been working on some sort of truth serum that was recommended by a small friend of mine,” she winked at Peter who rolled his eyes at the memory of Scott’s San Francisco story. “and we think we’ve finally got something, right Groot?”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“Excellent, here Peter, drink this.”

 

Peter’s eyes widened and he looked pointedly at Shuri and tilting his head slightly towards the class. She shook her head subtly, assuring Peter she wouldn’t ask anything that would actually out Peter’s little vigilante secret. He looked dejectedly at the small vial Groot had passed him and surveyed the Flora Colossus with a raised brow but the intergalactic hero merely looked back at him, edge of his mouth twitching up slightly.

 

“Bottoms up.” He murmured, downing the vial like a shot. It didn’t taste as bad as he thought it would. He frowned. “I don’t feel any different.”

 

“Of course you don’t, it’s a truth serum not a make-me-feel-weird serum. Lets start with some basic questions, try to say something that’s not true. What’s your name?”

 

 _Gregory Smith_ he thought, _my name is Gregory Smith_. “Peter Parker.” His eyes widened as he realised he’d actually said his name despite how hard he was thinking of his fake name.

 

“And how old are you?”

 

 _287_ “17.” _Fuck._

 

“Where do you go to school?”

 

 _Hogwarts_ “Midtown High.”

 

“Favourite subject?”

 

 _Gym_ “Chemistry.”

 

“Who is Tony Stark to you?”

 

His eyes widened. Fuck, he couldn’t say it, not here, not when he hadn’t even said it to Mr Stark yet. He clamped his mouth shut, glaring at Shuri. Or at least he thought he’d kept his mouth shut. To his horror his mouth was open, and making sounds, terrible, traitorous sounds.

 

“My dad.”

 

The classes eyes widened and Shuri grinned.

 

“Finally.” Shuri said. “Took you long enough to admit it.”

 

“I am Groot?”

 

“Oh yeah, nice one, what underwear are you wearing?”

 

“Iron Man ones.” _God fucking damnit, Mr Stark was never going to let him hear the end of this_.

 

Before Shuri and Groot could continue with their interrogation, Rocket had spoken up, calling the students over to his and Bruce’s workbench.

 

Peter hung back, glaring at Shuri as the class moved off to see what Rocket and Bruce were working on, which was emitting a bright green stream even though the mixture itself remained a deep purple.

 

“This was a terrible idea!” He whisper-shouted at Shuri. “What if I said something about, you know.”

 

“Relax Peter, I didn’t make it strong enough to make you spill really deep secrets, you would have been able to fight it off.”

 

“Then how come I said that, that _Thing_ about Mr Stark?!”

 

“Because it’s not a deep secret and you know it, you’re already living here with the rest of the Starks, it’s not really a shocking secret.” Shuri rolled her eyes, wrapping her arm around MJ who had sidled up beside her, pressed a kiss against her cheek.

 

“I hate you guys.” He huffed, no real venom behind the words.

 

“Parker! Get your scrawny butt over here!” Rocket interrupted them, gesturing wildly to Peter.

 

“Oh God.”

 

He made his way over to Bruce and Rocket, eying their beaker warily. If Shuri and Groot had made a mild truth serum, who knew what he was in for here.

 

“Pepper asked us to sort something out for you rash.” Bruce said, smiling slightly, mirth dancing in his eyes as he looked at Peter.

 

“Yeah, and it was hard considering, well, the ‘delicate situation’.”

 

“Oh God.” Peter repeated. At least it wasn’t truth serum.

 

“Down the hatch Parker.” Rocket shoved a smaller beaker filled with some of the mixture into his hands.

 

Thinking it was better to just get this over with, he downed the beaker like he had the vial of truth serum.

 

“What the hell is this!” he spluttered, spilling half the mix in his mouth down his shirt and slamming the beaker down onto the workbench. “That tastes like a New York subway platform!”

 

“How’d you know that Pete?” Rocket asked slying, nudging him in the ribs. Peter glared back at him, turning away from them and stalking back over to Shuri, MJ and Groot, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth.

 

“How’s the sewer taste?” MJ asked with a grin.

 

Claire called the group back over to her, taking control of the situation once more and leading them out of the lab to where the tour was meant to be taking place a few labs over.

 

“I hate you.” Peter repeated, following the class out of the doors, MJ trailing behind him, phone up taking a picture of the still steaming concoction of his shirt and sending it to Pepper with the caption ‘I think the rash still needs some more attention.’

 

Pepper sent her back a thumbs up and saluting emoji. ‘Sending in the cavalry’ she added and MJ grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, now it can't get worse......... right?
> 
> AAAAA sorry it's been a Minute I had an assignment from hell and exam next week :(((((( I'll update as often as I can!! I've got the rest actually mapped out now so we're slightly less making it up as we go along (that's a lie I still have no idea what im doing)


	8. Don't Be Suspicious, Don't Be Suspicious

Peter heard what floor they were headed too next he knew who was next.

“We’ll be going to the interns floor next which is where some of you might be working in a few years. SI takes on a handful of college students each semester. They then complete either assigned projects, elected projects or work directly on Stark tech rollouts or other areas of SI. Our recent law interns have actually been sitting in on court hearings regarding the ongoing Hammer Tech lawsuit and allegations, having the opportunity to write for our lawyers and act as junior solicitors.” Claire explained as the group emerged from the elevator on the 23rd floor. 

The intern floor was what you’d expect from a space belonging to college students. Paper’s everywhere, the desks covered in documents and leftovers with half finished coffee mugs acting as some sort of interior décor. The lab tables were more organised chaos, avoiding an explosion sure, but there was definitely some dodgy looking substances being left unattended. 

The sounds of a minor explosion followed but raucous laughter drew everyone’s attention to a small group towards the back of lab area. 

To Peter distinct lack of surprise, Harley was sat at a bench, cackling like a madman. To Peter’s surprise and current ever-present dread, was Bucky and Shuri laughing with him, Bucky’s metal arm resting on the table, wires exposed and smoking slightly. 

“That tickled.” He said, still grinning broadly.

“I told you that would happen.” Shuri reprimanded Harley with absolutely no heat in her words. 

Peter spluttered at Shuri.

“How?!”

Shuri looked over at Peter’s exclaimation and grinned. “It took you long enough! Come over, we’re working on the White Wolf’s arm!” She called over, winking at Peter as he continued to gape at her. 

“Come on!” He groaned, trudging over to them. “You’ve had a turn, how did you even get here before us?”

“Now now, that’s classified Wakandan secrets there, I’d have to kill you Parker.”

Peter rolled his eyes, knowing very well about many Wakandan classified secrets and somehow still alive. 

“Yeah yeah, whatever. How’d you get roped into this?” He asked Bucky, ignoring Harley’s staring and smirk that was practically begging for his attention.

“Bold of you to assume I didn’t come here of my own accord.”

Some giggles from the class made Peter entirely regret introducing Bucky to vine and memes. He never thought he could have been the victim of Bucky’s new found knowledge. 

“Ok Grandpa.” 

“Respect your elders!” Harley exclaimed, reaching over and smacking Peter on the head. 

“Just cause you’re old doesn’t mean you gotta be on his side.” Peter retorted

“4 days Parker, respect it.”

“Mhmm, sure old man.”

“Ok!” Claire interrupted, clapping her hands. “Would anyone like to actually speak to the class about the internship program?”

Peter’s stomach sank as Harley’s eyes gleamed.

“Oh, yeah, I’d love to talk about the internship program. In fact, I’ve got some great stories about one of our interns, what’s his name? oh yeah, Peter here.”

“Do your worst Keener, I was killed two floors ago.”

With that Harley proceeded to explain in great detail and glee every time Peter had done something he deemed worthy of retelling. 

Among Harley’s half hour monologue of the greatest hits of Peter Parker were;

\- That time Peter poured motor oil into Mr Starks coffee  
\- That time Peter poured motor oil into his own coffee  
\- The time Peter set Dum-E on fire in an attempt to revamp the fire extinguisher  
\- How much worse the fire extinguisher made the fire.   
\- How many times Peter had set Tony Stark’s Personal Lab on fire (which was still 3 times below Harley’s own count, a fact he diligently failed to mention)  
\- That time Peter fell asleep right on top of a chemical compound that proceeded to stain his face blue until Mr Stark figured out how to reverse it.  
\- How many times he had been “fired” for acts such as calling AC/DC Led Zepplin or quoting memes in the lab.  
\- Several instances of Grand Theft Repulsors (“but Mr Stark you said we can’t use the stove and we wanted hot chocolate!” “Use the goddamn microwave!”)  
\- And the Infamous lab vines which got Peter banned from using his phone in the lab after the 3rd near death occurrence ‘for the vine’.

Bucky had taken it as his personal mission to pull the weirdest faces at Peter but only when no one was watching as Harley talked. This resulted in Peter pulling the same faces back and getting caught by several peers who only saw Peter making taunting faces at the Winter Solider for no reason or prompting what-so-ever. 

When Ned caught him doing it he elbowed him hard in the ribs.

“Dude, ow, what the hell?”

“Stop provoking the Winter Solider man, it’s not a good look.”

“Provoki- He started it!” Peter whisper-yelled back.

“Dude.”

Peter rolled his eyes and glared at Bucky who grinned at him, putting his free hand up in surrender as Shuri continued poking around in his metal one. 

“And that, kids, is why Peter Parker should never be trusted with, well anything really.” Harley concluded

“…OK, well, thank you Harley that was… insightful.” Claire said, clearly eager to put the whole morning behind her. “Well, it looks like it’s time for lunch so everyone headed to the elevators and go down to the cafeteria where we can experience what having lunch at SI is really like if you were ever to work here.” With that she started leading the group away from whatever mess they had stumbled into, leaving Peter, Ned and MJ behind. 

“Ok, honestly, not the worse floor of the day.” Peter said, looking pointedly at Harley. “I’m disappointed Keener, I was actually scared for a minute there.”

Harley shrugged. “Oh well, what a shame, I was trying so hard to embarrass you. So hard, such a shame.”

Peter narrowed his eyes. “You’re up to something.”

“No shit Sherlock.”

“Boys, boys, stop fighting, you’re tearing this family apart.” Shuri said monotonously, not even looking up from what was starting to look like genuine repairs and upgrades to Bucky’s arm, the latter who was currently reading a hologram he’d pulled up. 

“Wait, you’ve been unusually silent during this whole affair as well, and I know you have lab stories you’d usually be jumping to share.”

She shrugged, managing to look simultaneously completely innocent and rivalling Loki in levels of mischief. Although Peter couldn’t be sure he was just imagining the Loki part from his knowledge of involvement in the day’s schemes.

“Anyways, we’re done stalling you so you should probably head down.”

“Stalli- oh god no.” Peter whispered, staring in wide eyed horror at Harley. “Keener what the fuck have you done?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎶dont be suspicious dont be suspicious doNT BE SUSPICIOUS DONT BE🎶
> 
> ok, ok, listen,,,, I KNOW it's been a Minute but like,,,,,,, yeah. Ok I got nothing I literally just forgot/had no ideas so here's a small chapter and ive got the rest of the pic planned out so she Will get done and hopefully Soon if I continue to have Inspiration so Blease pray for me. 
> 
> OK thanksssssssss
> 
> PS not to Shade but like,,,,, what's up w the hits/kudos ratio like,,,, Y'all its less than a 10% payoff but whatever


End file.
